One of many merchandise of colonialism which has left very deep scars on the cultural establishments in Africa is monogamy. It’s results have been far-reaching and disastrous but, the victims have been reluctant to talk in opposition to it out of worry for backlash and misplaced prejudices.
The fact everybody has continued to shrink back from is that the destruction of polygamy has continued to shred the ethical cloth of Africans in so some ways.
Polygamy which is basically the observe of getting a number of spouses, has a protracted historical past in Africa and has been practiced throughout completely different cultures and religions. It was the cultural observe in place in Africa for a lot of centuries. In pre-colonial instances, polygamy was typically related to social standing and wealth, and it was frequent for males in positions of energy, akin to chiefs or kings, to have a number of wives. Polygamy was additionally seen as a method to make sure the continuity of household lineage and to offer assist for giant households.
The consequences of polygamy in these days was tranquility, respect, happiness, and peaceable and affluent houses. Sadly, monogamy has ensured that every one that may solely be wished and hoped for.
It’s a well-documented proven fact that with the arrival of colonialism and the unfold of Christianity and Islam in Africa, polygamy got here beneath assault and was typically prohibited by colonial authorities and non secular leaders. At present, most African nations have legal guidelines that recognise monogamous marriages solely, though some nations, akin to South Africa and Kenya, enable for customary marriages, which might embrace polygamy.
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The state-endorsement of monogamy in most African climes has ensured that polygamy is now being handled with disdain and scorn.
It’s nevertheless pleasing to notice that regardless of the authorized restrictions, polygamy has remained a standard observe in lots of African societies, significantly in rural areas and amongst sure ethnic teams.
Any deep-thinking acutely aware African who has a knack for sincerity would agree that one of many methods during which financial and social challenges confronted by households, akin to poverty and lack of entry to healthcare and schooling was addressed within the time previous was polygamy.
At present, fairly lots of people have made it a behavior to criticise polygamy and lampoon polygamists. Their ill-informed arguments have all the time been that it perpetuates gender inequality and reinforces patriarchal norms. What the individuals who maintain this view have refused to just accept is that marriage establishments and the society, typically, have been higher off when polygamy was commonplace.
Lately, there was a rising debate in Africa in regards to the deserves and disadvantages of polygamy. Some argue that polygamy is a standard observe that ought to be revered and preserved, whereas others argue that it’s incompatible with trendy values of gender equality and human rights. Whereas those that imagine that polygamy ought to be culturally reinstituted have clearly defined the hazard of monogamy to the quick eroding African values and the way the final was higher, these in opposition to polygamy have failed to focus on the right way to cease the following drift.
The African society has evidently not been the identical ever because the observe of polygamy was truncated by adherents of overseas religions. Infidelity in marriages, prostitution and different types of appalling immoral behaviours have gained legitimacy in African societies the place it was hitherto nearly non-existent. It’s excessive time Africans instructed themselves the painful reality that polygamy is probably the most appropriate system of marriage with their tradition and quietly return to it.
Nigeria as a case examine offers perception into the harm, polygamy has achieved to the continent. When the nation is seen by means of the Northern and Southern dichotomies, one will simply discover that marriages within the polygamous North are extra steady than that of the monogamous South. Southern Nigeria is extremely dominated by girls with no husband but, there’s a larger stage of prostitution in the identical a part of the nation. What an irony!
Reasonably than emulating their Northern counterparts in marrying multiple spouse, southerners have continued to see the North as backward, but they queue of their 1000’s yearly in numerous courts to settle divorce instances.
The painful reality that many gained’t disagree with us, is that a median Southern man in the present day might have one spouse in the present day, but the identical man has tons of girlfriends he maintains outdoors his marriage. The massive query is that wouldn’t it have been higher if he have been to formally marry these girls he retains as girlfriends and save himself the stress of being misunderstood and subjected to all method of derision by the society?
It isn’t misplaced to conclude {that a} man, who has three or 4 wives whom he concentrates on is much less more likely to have a girlfriend or concubines outdoors his marriage. Reasonably than spend aimlessly on girlfriends with whom he has no actual relationships, he may as properly make investments these funds into his dwelling in the event that they have been his wives.
Earlier than polygamy was attacked and decimated in Africa, tales of {couples} accusing each other of infidelity with divorce instances lingering in courts, instances of males murdering their wives or wives murdering their husbands over allegations of infidelity, or the situations when women and men died in resort rooms throughout sexual flings with younger males or girls have been by no means heard of. All these anomalies have been promoted by monogamy which has failed to search out their options.
The fact is that the logic that man ought to prohibit himself to at least one spouse, with the intention to reside lengthy, is defective, as a result of polygamy continues to be practised in lots of African societies and even being indulged in by Nigerians, regardless of how unofficial. And in numerous situations, these polygamous males even reside longer than their monogamous counterparts. It’s really a matter of alternative and controllability. African males ought to ask themselves how their forefathers married multiple and themselves and their wives and youngsters largely lived longer than the current generations.
In as a lot as the selection of a companion was grossly influenced by mother and father within the olden days, sustaining and constructing the wedding was purely the accountability of the couple and obedience to societal legal guidelines. Any man who got here to the realisation that one girl was not sufficient for him and he had the capability was all the time inspired to get one other one. That is absolutely the best way to go.
It’s excessive time individuals started to talk as much as encourage polygamy. The extent of prostitution and adultery prevalent within the society clearly exhibits that it’s been a pretense all alongside. It’s time to finish it as a result of, within the African man’s self-seeking try and observe monogamy, the resultant results are lies, dishonest, heartbreaks, a rise in intercourse drive, and even loss of life.
Africans have been brainwashed to imagine that polygamy is evil and with out understanding what the deserves of monogamy is, they’ve continued to advertise and infuse it as a cultural norm. This has to vary.
Granted that infidelity typically doesn’t have a complete remedy besides self-control. Nevertheless, sure practices, that are indigenous to Africa, may help ameliorate infidelity to the bottom stage and that is the reality. One of many practices which have been used up to now was polygamy and Africans should cease demonising it.
In Nigeria, beneath the Matrimonial Causes Act, LFN 2004 and Marriage Act, LFN 2004, polygamous marriages should not envisaged, fairly it’s monogamous marriages (one man, one girl). Nevertheless, the reality stays that, the enactment of these items of laws doesn’t abrogate the normal or customary practices of Nigerians. There was tradition and custom earlier than the colonial masters arrived to show Nigerians a contemporary method of doing issues.
In conclusion, the truth which is saliently shared by many Africans is that; ought to the society begin selling polygamy once more, there shall be a drastic discount within the tradition of infidelity, and once more the hazards offered by the thriving business of ‘side-chicks’ will cut back and by extension. The dockets of single girls, sad spouses, and damaged houses shall be grossly depleted. It’s excessive time Africans returned to polygamy. Sufficient of the pretenses and borrowed poor tradition.
